This Fleetwood Mac song we played at the end of my dad’s Wake. Ordinarily, any of the songs we choose bring tears, but last week I stepped outside at 4.50am, put my iPod on and choose this song to start my 1hr run, I wanted to feel that raw emotion that comes over me when I think of dad as 'gone'. As I ran down the first street in complete darkness, I was expecting to be struggling to see through the usual tears and squinting while I watched the pavement. Instead, I was thinking of fond memories of the man I view as symbolising ultimate strength and self belief. My memories taking me to a time when I would have been somewhere around 8 years old.
At first I felt cold as ice because no tears came, had I really lost all emotion over loosing dad? Until I realised that it wasn’t that. You Can Go Your Own Way was chosen because dad always did what he wanted to or believed he could do. I realise these last 6 months have taken me on a journey to following my own dreams. I feel like I am finally 'going my own way'. Instead of feeling sad, I was thinking how happy I was that I was becoming that vision of ultimate strength and self belief that I respect and dad is actually in me.
This morning I again played this song as my first, second and third tracks to start my run. I feel strong. I am going my own way, big changes have been made and my future is positively exciting.