Thursday, February 24, 2011

You Can Go Your Own Way

This Fleetwood Mac song we played at the end of my dad’s Wake. Ordinarily, any of the songs we choose bring tears, but last week I stepped outside at 4.50am, put my iPod on and choose this song to start my 1hr run, I wanted to feel that raw emotion that comes over me when I think of dad as 'gone'. As I ran down the first street in complete darkness, I was expecting to be struggling to see through the usual tears and squinting while I watched the pavement. Instead, I was thinking of fond memories of the man I view as symbolising ultimate strength and self belief. My memories taking me to a time when I would have been somewhere around 8 years old.

At first I felt cold as ice because no tears came, had I really lost all emotion over loosing dad? Until I realised that it wasn’t that. You Can Go Your Own Way was chosen because dad always did what he wanted to or believed he could do. I realise these last 6 months have taken me on a journey to following my own dreams. I feel like I am finally 'going my own way'. Instead of feeling sad, I was thinking how happy I was that I was becoming that vision of ultimate strength and self belief that I respect and dad is actually in me.

This morning I again played this song as my first, second and third tracks to start my run. I feel strong. I am going my own way, big changes have been made and my future is positively exciting.

1 comment:

  1. OMG what an awesome post Sam. I had goosebumps reading it.