Dad

It's your birthday. I know you would say 'is it, your only as old as you feel'. But I would still tell you every year. Miss you so much.

This post hurts, and posting it probably makes me feel worse. But while I am alive I will push my memories of him upon everyone I meet, thats how I keep him alive. Most the time I am laughing when I think of him, today I am just said because I can't have our yearly birthday joke.

"Mirror Song"

I know that I should think about giving
And think about
Helping out
And think about
Think about living
But I can't seem to rescue myself

What about my bank account
And my holy desert shield
That keep me dry under the arms?
Flags and mental jewelry's all I know
And they keep my happy and warm inside

So I said unto this man
"Who are you and where do you come from?"
And he proceeded to tell me many things

But I said nothing at all

For the flowers in the corner, by the room,
In the window, and the sun
Said it all

At least they said they would
Said they could
Mama said they would
Do me good

In 18 weeks...

...... I will be hanging around backstage waiting patiently for my turn to step on it. I can't guarantee I can be patient for the next 18 weeks, but on that day, I can.

Been planning it for a couple of years now, I am most definetely ready.

Growing Veggies

Jethro loves tormenting slaters.

For someone who dislikes gardening, I have learnt to love it. Making the decision to start an organic veggie garden was easy (because I got someone else to do it) now I look after it myself and I am enjoying it. Jethro loves to be outside so Sunday mornings are a regular tending to 'Jethro's veggie garden' as he calls it.

Summer planting has been done and we have; Strawberries, Beetroot, Cos Lettuce, Buttercrunch Lettuce, Mignonette Lettuce, Spinach, Rocket, Spring Onion, Capsicum, Roma Tomatoes, Cherry Tomatoes, Eggplant, Zuchini, Pak Choi, Wong Bok, Corn, Squash, Pumpkin, Rockmelon. Plus my Grapefruit tree is flowering and going to be producing heaps this season, and a mango tree. We also have a constant supply of herbs, chillis, garlic and spring onion.

A great book I have is Organic Vegetable Gardening by Annette McFarlane. It also covers pest control with some DIY sprays and those organically registered off the shelf. I have had whiteflies and caterpillars. Lots of slaters too, but they don't cause any damage.

FitX 2011 Sports and Fitness Expo

Thought I would bring this up, Tony Doherty was promoting it at the IFBB Aussies, the website is still being finished, so worth checking back.

http://www.fitx.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=101&Itemid=172

The exciting part is the possibility of a Pro IFBB Figure comp. Definetely love to see one.

Great concept, might be saving this date, who wants to come :)?

Anticipation

Can be all consuming. That 'thing' you anticipate can control your thoughts every waking moment. You function, but in a multi-tasking manner. You are thinking about it, yet somehow work and live. It feels so far away that you sometimes wonder how you are going to make it. The desire to be there gives you butterflies in your tummy.

Its the first thing you think of in the morning, and the last thing before bed. You think no-one else would ever understand. Your decision to persue it effects other people in your life.

For years you have pretended that 'it' is not important and is not 'real'. You sweep it under the rug and keep going. Finally, you make the decision to pursue it, the weight is lifted from your shoulders....

And yet the anticipation of it, continues to consume you.

Am I alone? Because sometimes it feels like it.