Can be all consuming. That 'thing' you anticipate can control your thoughts every waking moment. You function, but in a multi-tasking manner. You are thinking about it, yet somehow work and live. It feels so far away that you sometimes wonder how you are going to make it. The desire to be there gives you butterflies in your tummy.
Its the first thing you think of in the morning, and the last thing before bed. You think no-one else would ever understand. Your decision to persue it effects other people in your life.
For years you have pretended that 'it' is not important and is not 'real'. You sweep it under the rug and keep going. Finally, you make the decision to pursue it, the weight is lifted from your shoulders....
And yet the anticipation of it, continues to consume you.
Am I alone? Because sometimes it feels like it.